A Jake a day keeps the doctor away

With a four letter word beginning with 'w' looming ominously on the horizon, I'm in need of cheering myself up and it's going to take more than my bucket of maltesers - time to pull out the heavy guns: Jake's Gyllenhaal GyllenQuips. Not surprisingly, for one once described by his mother in these words: 'We knew he was going to be an actor since the time he was tiny... We figured he would just run away and join Saturday Night Live', there are far too many Jakisms to include here, so here are just a few tasters and ticklers to get us ready for when Jake is back on the publicity tours once again.


I'd better start with a rerun of my current favourite - Jake and hs co-stars found comfort during the long, arduous hours of the Zodiac shoot: 'Mark and Chloe and I once took a nap together in a trailer and we all had a nightmare... And we all held hands. It really helped.'


On the prospect of doing Romeo and Juliet: 'I have this awful masochistic and horribly perverse side of me that just wants to destroy your national treasure.' Please!


Around the same time, Jake was flying high after his award winning performance in This Is Our Youth with Hayden Christensen as well as acting alongside Jennifer Aniston in The Good Girl. When asked to pick which gave the greater career high, Jake quipped 'I don't know... How about making out with Darth Vader?' In the same article, Jake said he enjoyed taking the credit for Spider-man: 'It's really nice now, because people are like 'We really loved you in Spider-Man'... Amd I'm like 'Thanks! It was fun to make.'


On having known Beth Grant before the filming of Donnie Darko: 'I used to play naked in their pool with [Beth's] two nieces. Two beautiful blonde twins. Things have changed. (Laughs)' Now, there are two girls with memories to treasure...


In the same interview, Jake talked about his motivation for one particularly challenging scene: 'I remember that when [Richard] was in the bunny suit that we shot that at night and that there was pizza behind the camera, because we were going over, and all I wanted was a piece of pizza, that was my main motivation for that...'


In Cannes, Jake talked earnestly about what passion, obsession and jealousy meant for him. He let slip (to Welt Online) some of his own obsessions, including a biggie: 'I have a big passion for chewing gum.' And to that maybe we can add toothpicks. And beanies.


Jake's head may be beautiful, it may be brainy, but he wants to swap it because it's too special: 'In the movie that I'm doing now they all made special hats for me. Heath has a fine-sized head. We just did a make-up test the other day and they were all bringing our make-up in and stuff and it was like the hats were the special moment. 'Jake's special hats are coming; they're coming in!' I felt so insecure because of it... Just don't mention special hats!.. I'd like James Franco's head. That'd be a good head!'


During the publicity for October Sky, the young Jake revealed that at school he was in to blowing things up metaphysically: ''Well, I have to say, not necessarily literally, but probably I did all the stuff with my voice and personality of blowing things up and annoying people. Dissecting frogs maybe. Or a baby pig, I think it was when I was in 9th Grade - I think that got a little out of control at times. I don't think I should go into specifics!' Also, during a Q&A for October Sky, there was this: 'What did you like best about being on Rosie O'Donnell today?' Jake: 'The fact that I wasn't on it.'


When David Fincher and Jake interviewed each other for Interview magazine, Jake suggested they should make a Civil War movie together: 'David: You thought I would appreciate having a group of miserable, blood-covered actors standing knee-deep in mud. Jake: See, if you put me in mud, you'd see how much fun I could have.' Suddenly, all interest in Torso/Ness flies out of the window and my thoughts settle happily in a bog.


During a memorable interview that took place in Ikea ('I like Ikea because it feels like the potential of a home'), Jake's Walking on Sunshine song and dance routine ended with him collapsing in a pit of red rubber balls: 'I'm floating in a pan of giant cranberries'. And finally, let's hope that in 2009, Jake receives a lot of compliments: 'It is ego-boosting and ego-destroying: the smallest compliment can send you smiling and happy running naked in the woods.' How about a really BIG compliment?


Includes pictures from IHJ and links.