Monday 16 February 2009

The frame for Jake's eyes

I have heard it mentioned that one reason why Jake Gyllenhaal has been wearing so many hats of late may be because he has eyebrow issues. This suggestion clearly merits close scrutiny and, while I fear that one mere post can never do justice to those two fine hairy appendages on Jake's face, I will have a flutter.


Back in the days of Bubble Boy, dissatisfaction was expressed about Jake's styled eyebrows. Overplucking was blamed - although to be fair, Jake may not have had a lot of say when approached by a film's makeup artist with clippers primed and an intent expression on their face. Clearly Jake can't win because, by the time of Brokeback Mountain, it was argued that Jake should prune his eyebrows more if he wanted to compete with Keira Knightly on the love interest front.


The Insider swooned for Jake on the cover of GQ despite his 'furry eyebrows'. But in The Good Girl, Jake 'looks as if the sky is falling on him - an effect he doesn't have to work nearly as hard to produce. His perpetually depressed eyebrows do the job for him, arching down over a gaze which seems permanently fixed on thoughts of the very worst that can happen.'


For Lovely and Amazing, Seattle Weekly took a close up of Jake's face and had this to say (and it is worth quoting at length): 'Jake Gyllenhaal's eyes give him the aspect of a Muppet lost in thought. He is best known for playing a wide-eyed boy taken by the science of rockets (October Sky), a blurry-eyed boy who does violent things in the haze of sleepwalking (Donnie Darko), and a bouncy-eyed boy trapped in a shiny plastic bubble (Bubble Boy). His features are theatrically overstated: fat lips, thick eyebrows, and distended eyelids that have to stretch to conceal two glistening, gluey globes.'


'Jake charms in Lovely.In Lovely & Amazing (in which he is both) his eyes are huge and heavy and ink-blue. They roll around in their watery sockets. One moment they are the bleary embodiment of retail mundanity (he works at a one-hour photo); the next moment they seem to swell and bulge forth with sexual longing. (His character may be sensitive, but he's also a 17- year-old male.) You're never really sure if his eyes are a distraction or if everything else is the distraction and his eyes are the performance.'


'Mr. Gyllenhaal should never put on sunglasses, or sleep, or play a blind man on film. His close-ups are particularly riveting, composed of unflagging intrigue and suspense. How can his eyes be so big, one wonders, rapt, and how does he keep them from falling out of his head? And if they did fall out—how could they not, really—is someone prepared to catch them?'


Eyes like those need their frame.


Includes pictures from IHJ.

49 comments:

Ruby said...

That Seattle Weekly quote is fantastic! :D:D I'm sure we'd all catch his 'glistening, gluey globes'. What a flattering description. :/

If his eyes are the performance, maybe they should get their own credits. I can see it now: "Personal Assistant to Mr Gyllenhaal's left eyeball'.

Sorry. It's ben a long day, my mind is thinking strange thoughts. I'll go drink wine and be quiet.

Uli said...

How great to do a post about the most wonderful set of eyes and eyebrows the world has ever seen - and probably will ever see!!!

Loved this: You're never really sure if his eyes are a distraction or if everything else is the distraction and his eyes are the performance.

And LOL at this: His features are theatrically overstated: fat lips, thick eyebrows, and distended eyelids that have to stretch to conceal two glistening, gluey globes.
WTF??? Fat lips?? Gluey globes?? I am sure what this person really meant to say was "the most wonderful and sensuous lips and beautiful and gentle eyes in the world" Must have been a typo or something... There can be no other explanation...

Sigh... *swoons*

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hey there, friends! I've had a horrible day and I needed some cheering up - Jake's orbs do the trick!

Hey Ruby! If you're the Personal Assistant to the left eyeball, can I service the right? It's a wonderful article and I've been tryng to work it in to a post for a while. My mind is feeling weird too, tonight! I'll have a glass with you :D

Hi Uli! I've considered the eyes before but I thought we shouldn't be unfair to those eyebrows :D I don't really know what 'gluey globes' are but they sound good! I'm swooning too - glad I'm doing it in company!

Ruby said...

I dunno. 'gluey globes', sounds like conjunctivitis to me. :/

Wet Dark and Wild said...

My globes felt a little gluey after BBM - I must study Jake's globes more closely...

Uli said...

Mmmmh, studying Jake's globes... Which globes are you exactly talking about now??? The Gyllenglobes? The Glueyglobes? Both (or rather all four)? :D :D

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Er... Better safe than sorry, I'll study any globe going...

Anna said...

LOL, Ruby. Your description is spot on. I woke up with gluey globes this morning, called the doctor and found out that it's (most likely) conjunctivitis. :(

And it's not attractive, so I don't really feel you can use that expression on Jake's eyes.

;-)

Anna said...

OMG, Uli! LMAO!!

:-D

Anonymous said...

Uli is SO right! (as usual)

And if they did fall out — how could they not, really — is someone prepared to catch them?'
ME! ME ! ME!

Flat lips my ass! (oops! sometimes I slip.) Has this person ever seen his lips when he speaks to Gwen at the porch in Proof; when she gives him the keys? Or the way he looks at her? C'mon! Go get your glasses! This comment is something to be ignored!

"Gluey globes" sounds static and inexpressive to me.
Jake's eyebrows rock, so do his eyes, globes, eyelashes, lips, and the complements for all this.

I hope your evening is good, WDW.

Wet Dark and Wild said...

OMG Anna! You have genuinely gluey globes? I feel like maybe I brought that upon you with my gluey globe post :( Take it easy and exercise your eye muscles with Jake.

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hey Monnie O! We're all posting at the same time - I like that. Jake's lips are not fat and I am unanimous in that. I fear that an 'Are Jake's lips fat' post may be coming now.... Jake's eyebrows, eyes and all his facial accoutrements dance.

Thanks for the good wishes, Monica! My evening is certainly proving better than my day :D

Uli said...

Oh, Anna, poor thing! :( Isn't there a contagious and a not contagious kind? Which one do you have? Hope the rest of the familiy is safe...

I am still wondering what this crazy person meant with gluey globes... Besides conjunctivitis, I mean... Maybe he meant that we are glued to his eyes, cause they are so beautiful?
LOL, I am probably giving this person more credit than he deserves...

WDW, I hope after a crappy day you will have a better evening - studying all the globes you can get your hands on...

My word: desserr - can I swap one of the "r"s for a "t", please?

Uli said...

LOL, thanks MonicaO! It would be lovely if I were always right... :D

It's a great idea to do a post about Jake's lips... And it must feature that certain thing he does with the right part of his lower lip, that is so hard to describe but that I love so much... :D
And can you include the tongue please? ;D

Anonymous said...

can I swap one of the "r"s for a "t", please?

It will cost you one gluey globe.

Anonymous said...

Yes yes...I tongue-fat-lower-lip-hard-to-explain-moves post, please?

FAT lips? Can you believe I've read FLAT lips and got so angry I could kill any journalist with a myopia? Hahahhaha! Jeez...I'm so lame.
Ok...FAT lips my a**! too.

:*

Anonymous said...

Wheel of Fortune, my family will think I'm crazy! I'm laughing out loud, alone in my room.

(*maybe they already KNOW it. Oh!)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Chuckle, Uli! I really enjoyed this article but oh my the furore over a few (well, a couple - or is that four?) gluey globes - heehee. I'm cheering up a bit. My word is blumming :) I love that bit of Jake's lips as well :D Very much...

Hey Wheel of Fortune! Can I have a gluey globe too? Ideally, could I have two?

Flat lips, Monica O!? Jake doesn't have flat or fat lips - they're perfectly formed. I must definitely do an anti-fat, flat lip post (with tongue) :D

Anonymous said...

Great post! That's nothing more exciting to talk about than a pair of eyes that we can all lost in :)

Although if I was the make-up artist to Jake, I'd probably overpluck his eyebrows - there are just so much of them! LOL...

Someone obviously has done a thesis on his eyes in Seattle... *chuckles*

Ruby said...

I can't really let the 'swell and bulge forth with sexual longing' image go without comment either, but honestly, it's rendered me speechless! :

My word is 'nonglou'. :D:D

Wet Dark and Wild said...

So glad you liked the post, Winterbird :D Well, Jake's eyes are an inspiration, and his eyebrows aren't bad either... I like the idea of a Seattle eye thesis!

Rubes, you are so right about that image - it's one to cherish! I'll think on it more...

JoeAnn said...

Jake's eyebrows have amused me these last three years no end. The only time I remember thinking that Jake had "fat lips" was in October Sky, back when he still had that last bit of baby-face happening. Since then they've thinned out and now, of course, he has a perfect mouth. The eyebrows, well . . . they have their days, lol.

Fun post, WD&W.

Anonymous said...

OMG! OMG! glueyglobes is going to have to be my next password! This post is utterly hilarious. I so regret not having anyone to talk to about Jake in RL, (but then again I quite like 'having' him, heh, in secret - your comment about getting used to him on the sides of buses freaked me out a bit - I'll want to shout "I knew [of] him before you did!" everytime I see one). Sorry, catchin up a bit, been so busy. Have to admit I find bushy eyebrows on a man very unattractive; [un]fortunately find eyebrow-plucking on anyone to be even more loathsome, so definitely a catch 22. I still can't believe you made me laugh at this! thanks so much...brokeback-Jake changes a lifestyle once again...8-D.

PS. My word is autpaw - its Atticus' latest pseudonym

Anonymous said...

Jake's eyes....swoony sigh.

As for the eyebrows, lol, well I think they were perfect around BBM/Jarhead but now they need some grooming. Not as severe as BB, god no, but more like BBM!

Sorry you had a bad day, (((WDW)))

I am off for President's Day. Hope everyone is doing well. :)

Anonymous said...

Will there be a Lego Atticus?

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Thanks JoeAnn :D Jake's eyebrows have been a source of pleasure for me for a good few years too! I've never thought about Jake having fat or flat lips before but now I'm gonna muse that :D

Hey TD! I'm so glad I gave you such a laugh over this! I had a rotten day and so I wanted to laugh too - Jake always, always cheers me up (and he doesn't have to do much...). But remember you're not on your own - last time I looked I was definitely RL and so are we all - I know, I can vouch for a fair few of them, we've had drinks down the pub! So you're with friends here and we can gloat about already knowing Jake when everyone stares at his poster on the side of the bus!

Hi there Get Real! Has it been a hol in the US today? We don't get any at this time of year, we have to wait all the way from New Year intil Easter :(

Jake's PoP eyebrows are very luxuriant!

Thanks for the hug - ironically the really bad days produce the posts I enjoy the most!

There has to be, Monnie O! With a floppy ear...

Anonymous said...

Lovely post - ink-blue eyes, I like :)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hey Nouskie! I liked that too. Ink-blue eyes - Jake has those :D

Anonymous said...

Thanks WDW - Jake has the most striking and beautiful eyes and lips in the world. I noticed it first in Brokeback Mountain, and have been entranced ever since. The contrast of the blue eyes, and the dark hair, eyebrows and lashes is stunning. Can't wait to see in PoP. I tend to like heavy eyebrows and lashes, so I hope he won't tweeze them too much - I've heard that it can cause them not to grow back eventually or to thin permanently. The horror!

Anonymous said...

I had to post again because my word is Eness. You just know he fell for those beautiful orbs of Jack's.
Good luck to Heath at the Oscars! :)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hi there Anon! I've also had a fondness for heavy brows and lashes too, and the blue of the eyes with the darkness of the brows is such a beautiful look :D I'd be against the tweezers... Oh yes, Ennis and those blue eyes :) Not long now for the Oscars. Thanks so much for commenting.

Anonymous said...

Just found this at Stephen's new weird and clean blog, posted on December 19th:

"My Boy
But first I must turn, bow and wave / even if he isn’t watching, my boy, / lost for years to the high wire act / far above us.


Wow.

Anonymous said...

Oh, leave this poor man alone!

Jake, you have wonderful eyes, and your eyebrows only add to the effect your gaze has on people! (Especially women...) Anyway, don't feel subconscious, because I know some people who would kill for your eyes.

Anonymous said...

I can't stop saying "gluey globes".

:)

sheba said...

When you're little it seems that your eyes are bigger than your head. Can you imagine his tutors refusing him anything or giving him bad grades?

I don't think it helps that he has twice as many eyelashes as any normal male or female for that matter :DD He has us under his spell. Even when the eyes are closed. Wierd that.

His eyebrows are wonderful, they have a mind of their own and you're right WDW, a perfect frame for his soul.

sheba said...

Oh, and have a great day everyone xx I will imagining those piercing, menacing eyes on a 20ft poster in COA Shopaholic. Nevermind that he's shirtless ;DD

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Morning everyone :D Another busy day ahead, sigh... Thanks for the fun last night!

Hi there Anon :D It's a very striking little poem.

Morning Bandgeek! Jake's eyebrows are amazingly lovable. I never thought I would ever gush about eyenrows, but life throws up these surprises :D

Hey Monnie O - It's another phrase to add to the Dictionary of Jakespeak!

Talking of which, I can hardly keep my gluey globes open this morning, they're extra gluey. Have a good day :)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hey Sheba! Posting at the same time :D Ooh the eyelashes... Oh flip, I'm off again... To see Jake on the big screen again... I don't seem to be able to finish sentences this morning without three dots...

Anonymous said...

Our inventory so far:

"Jake is hot..."
"Sorry Johnny..."
"Gluey globes..."

All with 3 dots!

gluey globes reminds me of Jake Googleballs.

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Morning Monica O! This made me thinkg of Jake Gooberballs as well! I'll have to watch that when I get in, just love it.

My word is digshts - ahem, charming...

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh....right...it's Gooberballs.
I'm all wrong...

Wet Dark and Wild said...

I think Googleballs is better! We should get Jake to update his story :D...

Anonymous said...

Yeah then we could ya know, *google* them I mean him

Carol said...

Just a quick stop by as having a crazy day at work:(

This is a really funny post. Thanks WDW needed the light relief today.

I could loose myself in those eyes anytime. Must go back and take another look:)

Anonymous said...

Yeah...no matter what we'd be *googling*, it would be like *Jake...ing*. Which is a little dangerous, because you can't simply go Jaking everything and everyone all the time.
It's not that I don't like to Jake it, no! I love a good Jaked feeling...but I'm afraid it would vulgarize the Jaking act, putting 98% of the glueyglobers a little too close to Jake himself. Glueyglobers are dangerous beings, you know? We can't allow it!
I've heard horrible stories about glueyglobers eating people's globes for no reason whatsoever...just plain morbid pleasure, and...



ok. I'm shutting up!

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hey Google! Ahem... yes :D

I'm glad you enjoyed the post, Carol! It certainly cheered me up doing it and chatting here with everyone. I had an even worse day today, if that's possible, so I may have to do another funny one! I just need to have a laugh with everyone.

Hey Caffeiny Monnie O! Jaking is a proper verb these days. I use it all the time. I have to remind myself that other people might not get it! Glueyglobers?! Good heavens, they sound scary, they need to see the light :D

paulh said...

Jake was barely 20 (if that) when he made "Lovely and Amazing." He's 28 now, and no longer what he was back then. His eyes may have stayed the same while the rest of him advanced, so the proportions are different now. :-)

I saw "Confessions of a shopaholic" yesterday, and thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end. There was a three-second glimpse of the "Prince of Persia" movie poster, but if you blinked at the wrong time you would have missed it. (I refrained from blinking :-).)

That poster was the only Jake link in the movie. John Goodman and John Lithgow and Joan Cusack were in it, but they never did movies with Jake. Even Lynn Redgrave was there, as a drunken woman at the ball. But she didn't work with Jake either... Sad.

Anonymous said...

Last of my dumb things for today: Here is a picture of the last glueyglober I've seen. Scary!

*hides forever*

Wet Dark and Wild said...

That is without doubt truly scarey! Thanks... I think... Monica O ;)