A model actor - Jake Gyllenhaal

Today, while on my daily quest to find some coffee that I can walk around with, I stumbled across a photoshoot. The model, whose hair was subjected to vigorous fluffing by a professional every two minutes, appeared to be modelling umbrellas, which I thought fortuitous because it was too wet for ducks.


I watched for a few minutes until I grew bored of the 'Lift it up' and 'Put it down' nature of the conversation. But it made me think about how unnatural a situation a photoshoot is, especially when one isn't a professional model but is someone else, say Jake Gyllenhaal, for instance (picking a name at random...).*



The extent to which Jake Gyllenhaal should be dressed has preoccupied innumerable photographers - sometimes they get it wrong, oh so wrong...


So it's probably best to have a different approach...


or hint using The Calvin Klein Method.




Some photographers have demanded Jake interact with stress balls and light switches,



while others like to place him in The Great Outdoors.




The correlation between water and what is does to Jake's shirts has long been a subject of study for the world's leading scientists and meteorologists.


If you want an animal to look less cute, put it next to Jake.




Why some photographers have chosen to remove Jake's head is beyond reason.


If in doubt, put Jake in/on/above/next to/under a bed.


Or stick Jake in/on a car and get the male readership.




Models have to be watched when they're round our Jake...



Jake has been photographed with books, while photographs have also hinted at hidden talents.



Put too many of these elements together in the same photograph and it can produce the 'Ick Factor'.


And no study of Model Jake can be complete or indeed worth having without another look at the much watched and much loved Vanity Fair photoshoot.



*This study is based on the serious and comprehensive analysis of hundreds of photographs of Jake Gyllenhaal that present him in various states of undress and in a range of positions and situations. It was a difficult task but I threw myself into it.

And finally...

To end on a serious note, Jake Gyllenhaal's name was one of those added to a letter today appealing for action from world leaders and the UN after the democratic leader of Burma, Aung San Suu Kyi, was arrested for 'breaching the terms of her house arrest', a condition she has endured for almost two decades. I am proud to see Jake's name on the list.

Includes pictures from IHJ and WDW.