Scary Night, Scary Jake, Scary Movie

It's that spooky time of year again. Although Halloween is not as big an affair in the UK as elsewhere (we enjoy burning effigies on Bonfire Night instead - accompanied by mulled wine, hot potatoes, fireworks and frightened pets), here is a look at how Scary Jake Gyllenhaal could take the genre of the Horror Movie to new heights of terror. In Scary Jake Land noone can hear you scream...


Jake has already been through the basics of the ritual of Halloween, so Scary Boot Camp will be short.



If needs be, Jake could make use of any weapon at hand to reduce us to shivers (or pieces).




Jake is used to communing with figures from beyond the grave, such as Grandma Death, and giant rodents hold no fear for him.


If you're going to be a Horror Movie star, then you need to have suitable Scary Transport.



You must also be able to sweat through fear to order.


If needs be, substances may help to get you into the right scary frame of mind.


Jake has had experience of Scary Movie Moments. These include prehistoric creatures, army food, extreme temperatures, Godforsaken environments, excessive clothing and face paint...






...Not to mention, haircuts snatched from the jaws of hell itself.


In the Prince of Persia, evil spells and spirits will be commonplace and Jake will have a battle on his hands.


In the pictures below, we see evidence of Jake rehearsing for his horror breakthrough role.







Maybe in the future, we will even get Stepford Jake...


Includes Scary Pictures from IHJ.