Sunday 2 November 2008

The Alternative WDW Daily Regimen for Jake Gyllenhaal

Yesterday's revelations about the daily exercise and food regimen that Jake Gyllenhaal is being put through in order to cut the mustard as a sword-wielding, armour-toting Persian Prince on the run, has just worn me out, let alone Jake.


For six days every week, Jake is up before the blackbirds, chipping the ice off his running shoes and running hell for leather up a hill with nothing but a gallon of protein shakes, half a banana and an ex-Royal Marine for company. With relief, I realise that today, Sunday, is quite possibly that one day off a week and today Jake is spared having to cut one square of dark chocolate into 24 pieces while having his muscles contorted in a deep tissue massage. I have an Alternative Sunday Regimen for Jake.


It's cold and dark in Britain at the moment, and so I recommend that Jake spends at least one hour catching up on the latest PS3 and Wii games - challenging a Wii to golf is a far more sensible way to use up calories than sprinting up a hill. Jake can also check out PoP's opposition and make Lara Croft do handstands.


An hour and a half should be spent reading - magazines, survival guides, military history and eastern philosophy.


Obviously, if Jake has been given Disney Digs with an indoor heated swimming pool, then this would be a great environment in which to catch up on the reading.


Ten hours should be allotted to sleeping - preferably in a bed with a lot of pillows and a thick downy quilt.




Two hours should be spent catching up with friends and family.


A good hour in the morning and then another in the evening should be spent surfing and shopping online, catching up on WDW and reading the news from home.


Sunday lunch should be spent in the company of friends and should feature at least some refined sugars. As Jake is in England, he should endeavour to work his way through traditional British pub fayre, including Yorkshire Pud, bangers and mash, and Spotted Dick with a pint of best.


One leisurely walk should be fitted in between dinner and a nap - ideally, one would take one's dog along. A good way to meet people.



A little light shopping would be a good way to work off more of lunch.


A good hour should be spent listening to music (especially Snow Patrol's new album).


It is recommended that Jake spends some time exploring his adopted PoP home, getting out into the streets of London or into the countryside. All effort should be made to blend in.


In the evening, time should be spent on rewatching the classics on television.


Includes pictures from IHJ.

Congratulations to Lewis Hamilton!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes yes...this is a real Sunday! I hope our boy is resting and having fun today...

As for "congratulations to Louis Hamilton"...oh my gosh! He almost killed us. You don't know I'm in Brazil, do you? We don't have a world champion since Senna passed away, 17 years ago. We all thought Massa would win...I swear! But t hen, in the last curve - THE LAST CURVE - Hamilton got back to the 5th position and won the championship!
Jeez...let me say that was beautiful, and he so deserves it. But he almost killed me! LOL!

:)
Monica (the other)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hey Monica! Yes, I hope Jake's got his feet up and enjoying a day off.

I didn't realise you were in Brazil - I know how passionate the sport is there, too, and it was agony watching the end! I never expected Lewis to win. On the occasions when British sportsmen win something, they never make it easy to watch.

Maybe Jake was watching it too :D I hope you have a good evening :)

Monica said...

Good night, wet dark!

They are wonderful tips for the day off from our Jake! :)


Wet dark, I was hoping that the Felipe Massa would be winning, but I'm glad that he did an excellent race and a great championship!
Congratulations Lewis Hamilton

You have two brazilian Monica here!

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Night Monica :D It's so great to know that you and Monica are posting here all the way from Brazil! I hope you don't have too much of that Grand Prix rain where you are... Have a gtood night :D

I'm finishing off the weekend watching Jarhead :)

Anonymous said...

WDW you forgot a part of the Jarhead daily regimen that can fit into the WDW Alternative Routine. The Drywall Pushups. A partner is needed for tht one. I volunteer myself.

Wet Dark and Wild said...

OMG! That's quite a big coincidence as I just saw that bit - I watched it twice just to make sure I didn't miss it. Drywall Pushups is now how I shall forever call that scene... It's very considerate of you to volunteer to take part in the Regimen, Home Depot :DD

Atticus said...

Wdw and Daddy all you have to do is Fetch and Roll Over and Play Dead and Hide The Bone and Play-Fight and Jump and Chase the Ball and Run and Eat and Drink Lotsa Water and Sniff and Scratch and Growl and Napp and Chew and you'll always be sexy like me. I don't know what the fuss is about?? Why do you people make it so hard??

Anonymous said...

I watched it twice just to make sure I didn't miss it.

Fess up, it was 5 times on slo-mo frame by frame and closeup. "To study the technique." Uh huh. :D

PS. me too. hehheh!

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hello Atti :D

Well, HD, I think it's worth the study :D Admirably athletic :D

It's so good to watch Jarhead tonight - counting the days (if I knew the number) to having a new movie in the theatres...

Anonymous said...

Wow! Brazilian Monica's Rock!!

I thought I was the only one, but I feel good to have a partner...and with the same name. Amazing.

Atticus? I'm going to try your way. :)

Monica (the other)

Wet Dark and Wild said...

You can never have enough Brazilian Monicas :D

Night all!

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Morning everyone! Hope you all have a good day :)

Xenia said...

No need to say I like your Daily Regimen better WDW, and not just for Jake.:)

I suggest to add a good plate of pasta and more than an occasional glass of Italian wine to your meal, Jake. Makes you feel better, stronger even. I guarantee. :)
And if you want someone to share your diet with I know just the person.:)

Bye to all!

Anonymous said...

just stocked in duck liver pate, nuts, cheeses and wine to get us through tomorrow hoping there will not be a civil war or somethin' -

well I must worry about my own bod, afraid I can't worry about Jake and all that armor bearing -

hey Jake lissen up I want amour not armor.

thinking about his interview with the London talk show lady: "mmmmm. you are just as fit in person."

the physical regimen sounds terribly arduous. Im such a lazy cow, myself.

hope everypeeps is warm safe happy in love and so forth!

Wet Dark and Wild said...

Hi Xenia! I could do with your pasta, Italian wine and company myself too :D Jake'd love it.

Hey Pia :D Me too with the amour - sigh. I do worry about Jake having to fight battles wearing a heavy load of abrasive armour. He may need lotion - I could apply it... Hope you're warm and happy and in love too! I'm totally frazzled :(