Jake Gyllenhaal's Handy Tips for Catastrophic Climatic Shift Survival - an Earth Day Gift

It might be sunny and warm out there, but looks can be deceptive - one never knows what awaits around the corner or, indeed, the day after tomorrow. It's Earth Day and that means we have to think about the issues facing ourselves and our planet and also how we must act if the weather takes a little turn for the worse. Fortunately, we're in good hands because Jake Gyllenhaal has first hand experience (kind of) of freakish weather conditions and has even taken on an Ice Age (sort of) and lived to tell the tale and walk the red carpet. Jake Gyllenhaal's Handy Tips for Catastrophic Climatic Shift Survival is my contribution to Earth Day 2009. Let's hope we make it to Earth Day 2010 (insert suitably foreboding musical anthem).


1. Sensible footwear. Don't even think about tackling an Ice Age if you've not got the correct clobber on your feet. The upside is that the population of polar bears will increase exponentially with the ice mass, meaning more boots. The downside of this is that we might get eaten. But, as Jake has never said, there's no risk not worth taking for a good pair of boots.


2. Layers. Once your feet are covered, and only then, it's time to think about the rest of you.


A jacket that is sponsored by The Weather Channel has been scientifically tested and found to be the most effective protection against a body-piercing gust of Ice Age wind. Even better if you can pair it up with a Discovery Channel shirt and bicycle.


3. Accessorise, acessorise, accessorise.... Just because it's an Ice Age, that doesn't mean standards should slip. Scarves, mittens, hats, snoods, leg warmers, snow shoes, whether these are home made, shop bought or simply nicked from a library's cloakroom, try and mix functionality with style. If you're going to use the seat of a chair to make snow shoes, don't necessarily pick the cheapest chairs - you're worth more than that.



4. Be prepared for the unexpected. It's entirely possible that you may be expected to sit on a giant ice cube even when it's 80 degrees outside.


5. You can never have enough books. Especially big books with thick pages and extremely slow burning covers.


6. What to do when you come across an Ice Age beast. There are several options open to you - a) avoid Russian ships stranded in the streets of NYC b) run fast c) thump it on the head with a torch d) get someone else to thump it on the head with a torch e) run fast. But an extra tip - check the animal is real first...


7. Conserve body heat. Be warned - although Jake was informed that the best way to conserve his body heat was to take his clothes off and hug, this was actually a cunning plan. And it worked


8. Always carry an umbrella.


9. Head south.

And so to end with the words of Jake Gyllenhaal (and other actors you can skip - unless you have a 'Colin Firth Thing') and some more Useful Jake Tips.



Includes pictures from IHJ.